Oct. 23rd, 2009

feather333: (amelie)
i think i'm going out of me head.
or maybe further deeper into it? or someone else's head entirely?

last night, while tucking into some more in-depth research into Conrad Veidt, i discovered that his third wife and widow, Lily, died in 1980, the year i was born. 


the exact date wasn't given, but i'm almost afraid to seek it out, given my recent attack of "i think i must've been reincarnated a few times" and the weird coincidences and dreams i keep having involving him and Alexander Veljanov (the singer from Deine Lakaien, who, in case you forgot, along with his brother, put a Man Who Laughs picture on their first album cover).

last night (after reading some articles about Conrad, then finding that tidbit about his widow and being so shocked i turned off my laptop for the night), i dreamt Alexander was driving me around in a car (which in itself is weird, cos he doesn't drive and neither do i. another odd parallel. i wonder if Conrad drove?). i was in the seat behind him. there were some other people in the car, but they didn't really figure much in the dream other than to provide a reason for me to be sitting in the back seat.

anyway, we were all talking, and when there was a lull in the conversation, and i said, "Alexander, tell me about The Man Who Laughs."

he looked at me in the rear-view, his eyes wide, and an expression of complete awe and surprise crossed his face. i felt the warm aura that usually surrounds him* heat up and expand a hundredfold with a tremendous joy and relief that i'd finally asked him about that. the car and the dream kind of melted away, and all i was left with was that feeling, which felt wonderful.

*it really does, ask around. it's a powerful thing, and i thought i must have imagined, but a few of my friends who have also met him confided to me that they've felt it, too, and that it affected them for days afterwards. i've never felt it from anyone else, not even his brother Peter.

i'm getting kind of creeped out by all of this. i really want to know more about Conrad Veidt and see more of his films, but the more i find out, the weirder things are getting.

well, no, i'm not creeped out exactly, more afraid of what i might find out about myself and these two men.

and i guess i'm most afraid that these will all turn out to simply be really bizarre coincidences, and that there isn't anything spiritual going on, that Quantum (as Terry Pratchett likes to call it) isn't involved and that it's just reverse Headology happening because i have an active imagination and have had some pretty freaky spiritual experiences in the past.

maybe i should write that reincarnation book after all.


Oct. 23rd, 2009 03:03 pm
feather333: (Default)
  • 17:17 Huh. looks like i'll be in the next edition of the school paper. #
  • 21:18 Blaarrgh. just leaving work. #
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